How to Restore Your Moments of Joy & Self-Confidence
We seniors undergo many life changes that affect our mood, self-confidence and ability to bounce back from depression. Sometimes we begin to doubt whether there are any more accomplishments to be had than what we’ve already enjoyed. This is particularly true of people who have retired either by choice or necessity and may be left with the feeling that the professional status they no longer enjoy — in other words “who they are” — isn’t relevant any longer. We look to our goal of healthy old age as the golden years we’ve earned through hard work raising families and earning a living. But, these years can be complicated with worry about debt, ability to afford the necessities of life, solutions to family problems, illness and a host of other problems we face as time shepherds us into old age.
I’ve always believed that life is a series of “ups” and “downs” punctuated by moments of joy and the occasional times we feel sad or depressed. I distinguish the latter from more serious depression caused by loss or illness that can be crippling and that requires medical help.
“And most generally there is something about everything that you can be glad about, if you keep hunting long enough to find it.”
― Eleanor H. Porter, Pollyanna
This isn’t meant to be a Pollyanna-ish guide to happiness, but, rather a creation of your own discrete moments of joy. I believe that by doing this, we mitigate the times — hopefully few of them — when we feel depressed or sad. Here are several tactics that have worked for my loved one and me:
- Take charge by charging ahead. If the problem is fixable and it’s getting you down, try hitting it head-on. Sometimes, thinking about a problem is an overwhelming downer. But, you feel more in control just taking small steps to work it out. Although it’s sometimes impossible to fix it immediately, it’s empowering to start. Ask a friend or loved one for help. You’d be surprised how gratifying it is to them when they know they’ve helped.
- If you’re down, because you have a difficult phone call you have to make and keep putting it off, because you don’t know what to say, don’t waste more time overthinking the delivery if you know what the gist of the message needs to be. Make the call. Words often come more easily with spontaneity, and whatever it is you need to convey, the words sound authentic, sensitive, understanding, and honest.
- If blowing an opportunity or making a mistake gets you down, work hard to be philosophical about it. Try to remember what you did or didn’t do that affected the negative outcome. Taking that inventory may make you realize that your action was the only appropriate one you could take at that time. If it was a mistake you made, you likely won’t make it again when the next opportunity comes around.
- If it’s marriage that has come to term, and it’s making you and/or your partner unhappy, turn to friends and empathetic relatives for support. Break-ups are sometimes rife with self-blame and toxic feelings toward the other half of the partnership. Mourning a divorce or separation is tough, because it’s like any kind of grief that has to run its course. When in self-doubt as to whether the break-up is too hasty, make a list of the relationship’s pros and cons if the “cons” outnumber the pros, your decision to separate can be reassuring and somewhat comforting.
For this and other tips, subscribe to my YouTube channel or visit me on the web at Grannybooster.com with more tips for seniors.
